Working with Susan is exclusive only to couples who meet the eligibility requirements below.
Eligibility Requirements:
- Both participants must WANT to work on the relationship. Therapy will not work if one or both of you is not invested in doing the work, and therapy will not likely convince someone to become invested. You have to come willing to work, and sometimes the work is hard. Being willing to work means occasional homework assignments, and it also means practicing the techniques and concepts learned during our sessions during the time between sessions.
- Both participants must be willing to openly share. No topic should be off-limits. If one or neither party is openly sharing, this can mask the underlying issue(s) making it difficult, if not impossible, to address. This will allow the maladaptive communication pattern to continue. One member of the couple may have convinced themselves that sharing something is useless because it hasn’t made a difference when shared before, or they may feel that they do not want to burden the other with the information. Whatever the reason for not sharing in the past, it cannot continue in couples therapy.
- Be aware and accepting that things may get worse before they get better. As with any therapy, addressing difficult emotional pain is hard and can feel like opening Pandora’s Box. This may be when one or both parties feel like exiting therapy. However, this would be like leaving the operating room mid-surgery. You would be leaving things in a worse state than when therapy began. When past emotional pain is worked through, the difficult time experienced when dealing with it can be well worth it. Not every couple experiences feeling worse before feeling better, but it is important to be aware that it can happen and to be open to sticking it out through the entire process.
- There can be no illicit substance use of ANY kind at ANY point while working with Susan. Illicit substances alter how our emotions function and our perception of our emotions. The work that you will do with Susan will require that both of you have an impeccably accurate awareness and understanding of what is going on with your emotions. The work that you do with Susan will not be effective if either partner is actively using any illicit substance. If a substance use problem exists with either partner, you must fully address it and no longer be actively using any illicit substances prior to beginning working with Susan. If a substance use problem resurfaces while working with Susan, the work with Susan will stop and will not be resumed until the substance use problem has been fully addressed.
- There can be no romantic relationships outside of the relationship to be worked on. This includes no communication or activities of ANY kind at ANY point during your work with Susan. The relationship work that you will do with Susan will focus on strengthening trust and emotional safety, which is not possible when either partner is actively interested in someone else. If one or both partners has an outside relationship, it must be completely ended with a commitment to keep it as such before any work can begin with Susan.
Ready to Get to Work?
